Managing Neurodivergent Meltdowns and Shutdowns
When “coping skills” are not enough, what do to support neurodivergent folks when they are struggling.
If you know a neurodivergent person or are neurodivergent yourself, it is important to understand meltdowns and shutdowns, what may cause them, and how to support a person (or yourself) through one. Meltdowns and shutdowns are not the same thing as a panic attack and a person often needs different support in order to regulate. Meltdowns and shutdowns can be caused by many things, but overall they are when a person's sensory system becomes so overwhelmed that a person can’t function or regulate anymore. This is different from a panic attack which is an intense, sudden onset of fear, anxiety, or discomfort. While meltdowns and shutdowns can turn into panic attacks and they are some similarities, they are different.
Meltdowns
A meltdown is generally an outward expression of sensory distress and overwhelm. The person may cry, yell, or have large body movements. Some meltdowns can look like a person who is angry or defiant, but in reality the person has lost their ability to regulate their emotions and body. In children, meltdowns often get mistaken for tantrums, which can cause more harm if adults impose consequences for “bad behavior.” In adults, meltdowns may look like crying, frustration, or anger that seems to come out of nowhere. Meltdowns can be embarrassing for the person who experiences them because they have little control over their behavior and feel shame for acting in a way that doesn’t align with their normal behavior.
Shutdowns
A shutdown is harder to spot because there is generally no outward behavior, but still stems from a person becoming overwhelmed with sensory input. When a person goes into shutdown mode, they can become extremely quiet, temporarily lose their ability to communicate with verbal words, feel rooted in place and unable to move, and be unable to engage in normal life activities. People around the person may become frustrated with the person in shutdown mode if they are unable to say what is wrong or respond to other questions. Shutdowns can go unnoticed because the person may retreat to a place where they feel more comfortable. People around the person may also have a hard time recognizing a shutdown and struggle to help a person regulate.
Things that can cause shutdowns and meltdowns
Every person is different, but things that can cause meltdowns and shutdowns are:
Having to engage in prolonged social settings where the person is masking or uncomfortable
Changes in schedule or routine
Difficulties with intense sensory discomfort, like clothes, water, bright lights or loud noises, or foods
Emotional overwhelm or changes in emotional state
Work or school
This is not an exhaustive list and every neurodivergent person is different.
How to support when someone is experiencing a meltdown or shutdown
When someone you know is struggling with meltdowns or shutdowns, it can be helpful to understand the context and environments that can lead to this state. If you are trying to support a child, take note of when they are having a hard time and see if you can detect a pattern. If you are supporting an adult, ask them if they know what causes them to meltdown or shutdown. One of the best ways to help a neurodivergent person, is to reduce demands or situations where overwhelm occurs and to help provide structured support where change is not possible. For example, for a child who is overwhelmed by loud noises, reducing the spaces they are in that are loud or providing noise canceling ear protection would be helpful. When supporting a neurodivergent person, it is also helpful to understand what sensory things are soothing to them. Do they enjoy deep pressure, or low light, or certain smells? Using soothing sensory things can help reduce the impact of a meltdown or shutdown. It is also important to support stimming, which are repetitive body movements that are soothing to a person, as stimming is a natural way to reduce overwhelm. You can also ask the person if they need space or like having someone with them when they are struggling. All of these things together can help when managing meltdowns and shutdowns.
If you would like to read more about this topic, you can check out this podcast. If you would like support in managing meltdowns and shutdowns, reach out to us .