Deciding between child therapy, parent coaching, and personal therapy
If you are a parent, let alone the parent of a child who is neurodivergent or struggles with mental health, school, friendships etc, the amount and different kinds of support services that are offered can be overwhelming to say the least. In this blog post we are just going to go over child therapy, parent coaching, and personal therapy, but there is also family therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, feeding therapy, speech therapy, group therapy, executive functioning coaching, psychological testing, and medication management. Whew. See what I mean by overwhelming? Parents are constantly bombarded by trying to do the “best” thing for their child and family and worry that the path they have chosen isn’t correct or won’t help. In reality there is no “one thing” that will help. There is no magic cure and I strongly disagree with providers who market their services as such. However, I do think it can be helpful to understand when certain services might be beneficial, so let's dive in.
Child Therapy
Therapy for a child is meant to support their mental health and overall well being. There are many different approaches to child therapy, but all should focus on the emotional and mental health of the child. I find that child therapy is most helpful when a child is struggling with big emotions, anxiety or depression, difficulties with friendships or self-esteem, a big change or loss, or trauma. Especially if a child is expressing distress, therapy can be helpful in helping the child figure out the root cause of the distress. The therapist can focus on supporting emotional development and awareness and create strategies the child can use at home. All child-based therapy should have parental involvement. Child therapy is only effective if the therapist is communicating with parents about what the child is experiencing and what to do at home. Child therapy should truly be a space for the child and not a space for the child to work on behaviors or things parents want to improve. If parents are feeling overwhelmed by their child or their child’s behavior, parent coaching or personal therapy may be more beneficial.
Parent Coaching
Parent coaching goes beyond parent involvement from child-based therapy and is strictly focused on equipping parents with strategies for parenting and supporting their child at home. I find that parent coaching is helpful when parents are seeing big behaviors at home, struggle with how to respond to their child, have difficulties with developing structure that works, or feel overwhelmed. Parent coaching should focus on helping parents understand their child and their child’s emotions and behaviors, while working with parents to develop actionable strategies that help them feel more equipped as parents. I find that many parents of neurodivergent children benefit from parent coaching in order to create a space that is more supportive of their child’s needs. Parent coaching should generally be a short term service that feels focused and actionable. It takes a willingness to change and implement new strategies in the home.
Personal Therapy
Personal therapy can be beneficial for parents who feel their reactions to parenting, their children, or life in general feel overwhelming or unmanageable. When parents have their own mental health concerns, feel overwhelmed, or need support beyond just parenting techniques, personal therapy might be the way to go. If parents had a difficult childhood or have experienced trauma, personal therapy may be especially helpful to work through triggers that might occur while raising a child. Personal therapy is a space for parents to be able to work on themselves and understand their own triggers, emotions, and reactions when it comes to parenting and life. I truly believe that the more grounded and present a parent is, the better their child will feel. Children thrive when their caregivers are a calm presence. Now, it is not possible to be calm and grounded all the time (perfection doesn’t exist), but the more a parent understands themselves, the more they can be present for their child.
Deciding what service will be beneficial for your child and family can be confusing and stressful. At times, you may need support in more than one area or the needs of your family may change over time. When your child or family is struggling, it is easy to automatically assume child therapy is the way to go, but that might not always be the case. If you need support is deciding what service will best support your child and family, our team at Kaleidoscope is here to help.