Four things to look for in a neurodivergent affirming child therapist

Your child deserves a therapist who understands all parts of them.

Read more to learn how to find a therapist who is truly neurodivergent affirming for your child.

Generally therapy practices see an increase in therapy requests at the beginning of the school year. Parents are looking for ways to support their child at home and at school. Something I hear from a lot of parents is that traditional therapy hasn’t worked for their neurodivergent child. I have heard countless stories about children not having the right therapist, therapists who only focused on behaviors, or therapists who were more strict in their methods. Most therapists say they will meet your child where they are at, but what does that actually mean? How can you know if a therapist is truly going to be a good fit for your neurodivergent child? Here are four things to look for when interviewing therapists to ensure they are a good fit for your neurodivergent child. 

A therapist who understands the nuances of neurodivergences and can articulate how they change their approach based on the child. 

Children, and neurodivergent children in particular, have different ways of communicating and expressing their needs. Sometimes these communications look like unwanted behaviors, outbursts, or anxiety/depression. An affirming therapist will be able to start slow with a child and build trust. They should be able to use multiple different therapeutic techniques to reach your child. Ideally, they would be trained in more than just talk therapy to allow for multiple ways to communicate in a session (art therapy and play therapy are wonderful for neurodivergent children). An affirming therapist will tell you that therapy is a long term investment. It takes time to build trust, learn interests, and find ways that reach a child without overloading the child’s nervous system. You can ask the therapist, “how do you understand neurodivergence and how do you change your approach based on my child’s needs?”

A therapist who looks at the “why” behind a behavior and doesn’t use strictly behavioral techniques. 

Many parents bring their children to therapy to support them with difficult behaviors. While we understand that these behaviors can be disruptive and hard on the whole family, an affirming therapist will take a harder look at these behaviors. There is always a reason why children engage in a behavior. Neurodivergent affirming therapists work to understand why a child is behaving the way they are and tries to help solve the core problem. Some behavioral techniques can be helpful, but they should not be the focus of therapy. You can ask the therapist, “How do you view behaviors and behavioral techniques? Can you give me examples of how you would support my child without focusing on just their behaviors?”

A therapist who actively engages with parents. 

A good child therapist will ask for parental involvement and be active in communicating with parents. An affirming therapist will be able to help translate therapy goals into support and techniques to use at home. For neurodivergent children especially, it is important for things to be consistent across environments. An affirming therapist will help parents with more than just behavioral techniques and will help provide insight into your child’s brain and body and how they are wired differently. You can ask, “How do you integrate parents into your work with a child? What does it look like and how often do you meet with parents?”

A therapist who looks at the whole picture. 

Many therapists just focus on the problem at hand and work one on one with the child to make changes. While this isn’t bad, it isn’t neurodivergent affirming either. Being neurodivergent affirming means that a therapist takes a wide, holistic view of the child’s environment, the systems impacting the child, and the social constructs the child must navigate. Being affirming, means the therapist will help you and your child understand these things and think about how to advocate for your child’s needs across their life. They will also work one on one with your child to support them, but they will recognize that change needs to happen with more than just your child. You can ask, “How do you approach supporting children in and outside the therapy room?”

If your child is struggling with anxiety, depression, behavioral outbursts at school or home you aren’t alone. We support children who feel out of place or out of control and families who feel worn down and don’t know where to turn. Reach out today to schedule a consultation with us to learn more about our neurodivergent affirming approach to child therapy.