New Years Resolutions:
Why Traditional Goal Setting Doesn’t Work for Neurodivergent Folks
Welcome to 2026! If there is one thing you can count on for the beginning of the year, it is that everyone is talking about new years resolutions and goals. Most people talk about resolutions with the end goal in mind without focusing on the steps that are going to get them there. For neurodivergent folks, this often means that goals and habits get left in the dust. Today I want to talk about how to move from goal oriented to system oriented and look at three issues and how to work around them.
The issue: thinking about goals as the end result
The support: creating a system to help sustain the habit
Very few people (I would argue no one) can set a goal and then accomplish it without having a system in place to accomplish the many steps it takes to get there. One of the top new years resolutions is to be healthier and gym memberships spike in January. While signing up for a gym membership can start you on the path to fitness, there are many other parts of the system that you need to consider. For example, when are you going to go to the gym? What do you need to do in your schedule in order to create the space to go to the gym? How are you going to remind yourself of your desire to work out? Instead of thinking about the goals as, “I want to go to the gym 5 times a week”, think about it like a system, I need to have my gym bag and shoes ready and where I can see them, I need to put my workout times in my phone and on my calendar, I need to analyze my schedule and pick out the optimal time to go to the gym.
The issue: thinking that you can accomplish the goal by yourself
The support: using accountability or body doubling to help support motivation
Most people do better if they have a person supporting them. This is also true for goals and resolutions. If you have someone to do a task or goal with you, you are more likely to get it done. The reason why is because our brains are primed to pay attention to other people and we are more likely to do something if we see someone else engaging in an activity. When thinking about your goal or resolution, how can you incorporate another person or body doubling? Maybe it's having a video call with a friend once a week and journaling together. Maybe it is finding a gym buddy. Maybe it is using a YouTube video to engage in a creative project or stretching routine. At Kaleidoscope, we have a Body Doubling Support Group that is low cost and meets once a week. Feel free to join us!
The issue: expecting progress to be steady
The support: understanding that growth isn’t linear and finding ways to get back into the systems you have created
This issue occurs in more places than just goals and resolutions, but it is relevant. I understand wanting to have forward momentum and progress, but unfortunately, that isn’t realistic. This is something that we work on in therapy constantly. Growth is not linear. Instead of getting defeated when you inevitably stop doing the habit, think about how you can revamp the systems that we talked about earlier. How can you notice that you have stopped doing the habit and gently reminding yourself to reengage with the systems of support? Instead of trying to jump back into the habit, try to reengage with one part of the system. For example, set your gym clothes back out instead of saying you need to go back to the gym.
New years resolutions and goals can be a wonderful way to start new habits, but often get lost or forgotten by neurodivergent folks due to the way our culture talks about goals. This year, if you want to start a new habit, try using these techniques to help your goals feel more sustainable and enjoyable.